Giving up the Ghost

Having spoken with the Dietitian with the Condition Management Programme this morning, I am making the following commitments;

 

1. A food diary – beginning in earnest tomorrow.

2. Slimming World – Thursdays at Brackaville.

 

Nothing to lose, execpt the weight. 🙂

 

Tunes:

 

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No more trips to Belfast (for now)

I have to take a break from visiting Belfast as I need to batten down the hatches, financially. The stress and strain of heading out there for Meetups is getting the better of me. My main priority for now is planning for my car’s MOT. Waiting for the letter to arrive.

My last trip to Belfast was a fortnight ago to see John Cooper Clarke. Most of what he did was exactly the same as his gig in Dun Laoghaire three years ago. Plus, I spent such a long time in Belfast, I had to leave early to get the eleven PM bus back to Toomebridge.

I went to a depression support group on Tuesday. It was in Gracehill – between Ahoghill and Ballymena. However, it was too far away for me and evening appointments trigger my anxiety.

The Condition Management Programme, however, might open doors for me. 🙂

Also, my brother turned thirty last weekend. He got the cake I sent for him on Tuesday.

Plus, I have to depend on the WordPress app for maintenance of this blog. That makes things more difficult.

Tunes:

John Cooper Clarke – Hire Car

Joe South – Games People Play

The Happy Mondays – Kinky Afro

Drinking the Gatorade (Sonnet I wrote about the Stormont Impasse)

The Peloton Patricians

every Sunday morning

marking their territory like dogs

all across the Lough Neagh shores!

 

Those who think voting still works

drinking the Gatorade

thinking they have it made!

But our values are compromised

while assembly seats are prized

Orange and Green define the Matrix!

Walk to Stormont, if you must

for some things will always be the same!

The only way to win

is to stop playing the game!

 

Being considered for Condition Management Programme

Condition Management Programme – Northern Ireland

 

I had to turn down THREE offers for an interview to prepare for this scheme, for twelve weeks, as my employment advisor said that I am not currently work-ready. However, I have other plans for my life. After heading across various places on Meetups and other trips, I guess I have to slow down. Not just for my health but also as I can no longer sustain my current lifestyle.

My only concern is the issue surrounding my benefits. I am only entitled to PIP – as it isn’t means tested – and this scheme used to be subject to means-tested benefits. God willing, they will have removed that precondition.

Also, I have plans for getting a cake for my brother’s thirtieth birthday. Watch this space.

Tunes:

 

 

Taking a Rest for Jobseeking

I was advised last Wednesday – February 20 – by my Employment Advisor to take a break from looking for work. At the end of the day, she was vindicated. For so long, I had run myself to the ground looking for work left, right and centre. But the last interview I had – February 18 – didn’t materialise in an offer. Plus, it was work for a company whose work makes me feel uncomfortable.

I plan to resume painting. Watch this space. Also, I am undergoing counselling. Getting used to self-care.

Tunes:

 

 

In empathy with Liam Neeson

My Mental Health issues allowed me to soak up all the negative s**t that TV and my society offered. Several times, I saw black people and had the urge to shout ‘The N-Word’ – or other derogatory terms for them – as that was the first thing that entered my head. I wasn’t racist. It was just the sign of a confused child not knowing how things are in the big wide world.

At University and my work placement in Dublin, I went out of my way to be friendly with coloured people. While, deep down inside, I was hearing, “Go back to your own country!” Then, I allow myself punishment for those thoughts.

In Ireland, racist obseneties are everywhere. However, we got away with most of it because we played the ‘Thick Mick’ stereotype well. But now, our conutry has the same issues with identity and immigration as others. The reality of economic development.

Now, I wish that Mental Health isn’t portrayed as whiter-than-white. Rather, it should be portrayed as human. With human failings. Also, why bring up the issue with racism in Football now whenever these issues had been ongoing for over forty years? It has been raised at a delicate moment whenever issues of identity are first-and-foremost.

Tunes:

 

 

Keeping the Change (Sonnet I wrote about my experience watching Home Alone)

Thank God ‘Home Alone’ was made in 1990

or else Kevin would be eating the Tide he bought

while his parents’ items were sought

by two incompetent thieves!

Generation Y kept the change

while on the way to Deansgrange

I anticipated the childhood experiences I never had then!

Buses to Belfast, Dublin and Dun Laoghaire

while the rest of the country got lairy

I watched a Christmas Classic!

Now it’s almost 2019

it’s Uber’s time

to get me on my way back

negotiating freezing fog to be home alone!