I am still busting my ar$e so often to find work. However, I have a Skype friend from Canada who’s in her Fifties that said she had her first apartment whenever she was 16 and had to learn to fend for herself. Suddenly, I felt a sense of shame.
A lifetime of being stuck at home, because I grew up in a Farming environment and was simply expected to carry on that role, had left me unresourceful and spoiled. It wasn’t until my mum was no longer able to drive, due to both Motor Neurone Disease and Parkinson’s, that I took driving lessons. At first, I was hopeless. I lacked basic ‘Man Skills’ because my mum had to do everything. Plus, my grandfather was fearful of mistakes being made. I grew up with a head full of knowledge and a life full of excuses.
In a few weeks time, a friend of mine from school is gonna paint my walls and ceilings. Again, mummy had to do everything at home. Fear leads to paralysis.
I’m in one of those reflective moods. But wishing things were different won’t solve everything.