Getting agitated

Today, I was on the Community Bus home, whenever a news headline triggered me, and I began tapping the back of the seat in front of me in agitation. That seat happened to be the driver’s, and she said it was ‘distracting’ her. I got home safely, but I still feel wired.

Yesterday’s shopping trip was a bit of a blow-out. However, I bought Christmas lights at the branch of Dobbie’s Garden Centre outside Lisburn. We stopped for breakfast there. I wasn’t aware that they provided breakfast for us, and I had already paid for one. But I got both breakfasts, and this morning I lost a pound in Slimming World. 🙂

I did buy a twelve-inch single in Belfast, during the trip. It was from Flowered Up – London’s answer to the Happy Mondays. Music was coming into my life around the end of the Baggy era. I once got a bicycle bell for Christmas, with a smiling yellow face. Being a good Catholic boy, I took it off for fear of the drug connotations. 🙂 A misspent youth, with hindsight.

I’m also listening to a Van Morrison LP, a friend lent to me. Also, I’m trying out the Vivaldi browser; developed by Opera, but emulates as Chrome. Good on the MacBook. Not so good on the Android.

Tunes:

 

Christmas – As an Aspie

Being an Aspie – taking a ‘Career Break’ (lol) – I feel isolated. Friday was thirty years – to the night – since my father died in the Troubles. I ended up with a case of ‘poor-me-syndrome’ that night. However, I am grateful that I can focus on myself and helping others.

Yesterday evening, the Christmas Lights were switched on in Ardboe. It was full of parents and kids – with ‘Free Food’ (though, not in the Slimming World context, lol), and I felt isolated. In the end, a man I know – who was buying cigarettes from himself at the shop brought me home. I didn’t even get to see Santa, or the lights switched on. Such is life.

Yesterday morning, I was up since 3:45 am and was making chicken for my slow cooker at 5:10 am. The 1978 vintage gave up the ghost; there was smoke coming out of it. In the end, I ordered a new slow cooker online from Argos; at 6:20 am. The delivery arrived this afternoon; at 4:30 pm, and now the bird is stewed. 🙂

This coming Wednesday, there’s a Christmas Shopping Trip in Belfast I’ll attend. I plan to buy a gift for an online friend, and buy lights for my tree; I’ll put up the tree next Sunday. Most of the decorations were purchased on Friday at Home Bargains in Cookstown. I was with my neighbour and her five-year-old granddaughter. She’s a bright little girl, but she turned my brain into spaghetti.

Also, on Friday night, I attended a prayer vigil for the young man from Ballinderry, who’s critically ill in intensive care at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast. Not the news one wants to hear at Christmas time.

This morning, the electricity was off. I failed to realise about the furnace switch until I was wondering why the bled radiators weren’t omitting heat. I’m learning as I go along. 🙂

Tunes:

Possessed

Yesterday, I was at a Christian Café in Stewartstown and heard Schizophrenic voices in my head; saying, “Hail Satan!” My friend from Desertmartin says it’s a reaction to the change in medication – raising my Citalopram to 30 mg – while my Key Worker says it’s the effect of stress. I reckon it’s both.

Today, I feel better. Prayer and outreach do help issues pass. Lifeline Helpline is a Godsend for me.

I bought a free-range chicken on Thursday, at the butcher with a 10% off discount through the voucher from my Slimming World group, and have the bird in my slow cooker until roughly 1 pm today. However, I gained two pounds in the past weigh-in.

Later, today, I will visit my neighbour. While Ireland faces the All-Blacks in less than an hour in the Rugby Union World Cup Quarter-Final. I reckon we’ll beat them, but get walloped by England in the Semi-Final; I tipped England to win the whole thing before the tournament began. 😀

Tunes:

Jools Holland and George Harrison – Horse to the Water

 

Having to give up driving

On Sunday afternoon, I was returning home from a Gaelic Football game whenever I suffered a meltdown, and only God’s grace prevented an accident. Then, yesterday – Tuesday, I was getting a taxi home from a bus from Belfast whenever I had a case of PTSD and grabbed the driver’s steering wheel impulsively. His response was, “Don’t do that, again! If you’re that nervous with my driving, you shouldn’t be driving, yourself!”

That was when it suddenly clicked. I CANNOT maintain a car with the income I currently have. I plan to sell my car by placing it at the car park of a local gift shop with a ‘For Sale’ sign that I ordered from Amazon. Hopefully, someone will buy it. The Car Salesman I contacted, who’s related to me, said the mileage is too high for him to trade the car.

However, I know that this is the last house on the street for me. Just like my own home. 😐

Tunes:

 

It’s a Dog’s Life

I was just after mowing my lawn. The sweat is running off me, now. Plus, it’s more of a sense of duty rather than enthusiasm. Yesterday, I attended a gardening class. However, I can no longer attend that class because I was sexually drawn to a young volunteer who began yesterday. Plus, the Pilates didn’t work out as I couldn’t juxtapose the breathing and the motion.

I saw ‘Rocketman’ last Sunday afternoon in Belfast. Good film. Although the Gay Sex scenes made me feel uncomfortable. However, I was glad I went.

Now, I have just three weeks left of my Condition Management Programme. I am weighing my options afterwards. My preferred choice is Mencap as they have a centre in Magherafelt, they do an Employability scheme, and I bumped into a Mencap employee by pure chance back in February during a night out in Belfast. It’s funny how the Lord conspires to assist. 😉

Tunes:

 

Been busy

 

 

These past few months, post-Easter, have been trying for me. I suffered from burnout and didn’t resume mowing the lawn until two and a half weeks ago. There was so much grass to be cut, it took me two days to get it done. On Monday two weeks ago I began, I felt nauseous and rested. Got it done on Tuesday two weeks ago and am now learning to keep up better. Also, my aunt and uncle came last week to sort out the weeds around my garden. They are currently on vacation in Poland.

I didn’t get PIP, gonna appeal. However, I would much rather work. On a more positive note, I have registered with a recruitment programme with Specialisterne NI. Parkinson’s Law, God willing. 🙂

Also, tomorrow, I will talk to my financial advisor to get another bond put in my name. Don’t wanna blow they money I still have. There is progress on an issue regarding a dormant account my gran and mum had in the South of Ireland. But I don’t want to say too much.

My brother has his exams done, but won’t be home until the end of June. In July, he’ll head to New York for a week. He’s the one who is comfortable with work and money. 😐

Tunes:

 

The Highs – followed by Lows

My job interview went well, thanks to a little help from my employment advisor, but the final outcome has yet to be decided by the School’s Board of Governors. The Limbo has sort of affected me. After a couple of full-on weeks, I suffered depression yesterday evening. After a few cyber errands that had to be run I called Lifeline Helpline.

Today has been a day where I put my foot in it, big time. I upset a good Skype friend and also upset a chatroom with a joke that backfired. In an online environment, I can be a loose cannon, even at the best of times. Something I have to work on when in a job. But, the positive is that I will have no time to procrastinate in a job. Plus, I can live without the internet if I am occupied that long.

 

Tunes (and videos):