Letting Go of the Outcomes

I feel that letting go of the need to search for jobs left, right and centre has paid off; in the end.

I got a new car last Wednesday. And, this Friday, my brother and I will be signing a probate oath; at least I assume it will be the resolution of the Probtae following gran’s death. Then, more money will arrive.

The family home and land are sold. But I have about four or five months before I have to move. Less stress. 🙂

Also, the PIP re-application arrived at the Office on Monday morning. The form was filled last Thursday. It will take a week to register on the system. But they extended the deadline to ease the backlog of cases and applications.

Feeling better. My sensory overloads over the past few weeks drove me insane. Now, I’m having more me time.

Tunes:

Kids with Autism

I was on a Discord Server for those with Autism, and I feel really bad about how kids are; these days. They’re unable to sleep, as well as obsessing about all the nonsense of these days. Not to mention the support for the vaccine. However, I can only focus on myself. I can’t change others.

On a more positive note, I bought a new laptop over the weekend. The rest of the bond money came on Friday morning. Alas, I can only afford a Windows laptop. Such is life.

This week, I will be focusing on the PIP re-application. I fear the future, but appreciate the present. It’s all about proceeding with caution. Just like turning left or right at the end of the road.

Trying to avoid the news

The news, even Social Media, is freaking me out. I, genuinely, believe we’re in Dante’s Inferno. However, I can only change myself. No more attempts to save the World; while still going to McDonald’s and Starbucks! (j/k)

I feel a bit bland. Having set myself challenges for 2020; the past eleven months have turned everything upside down. God will sort me out. There’s no one else to turn to.

Poem – I don’t want to wear a mask!

The Golden Circle of Ocean Colour Scene

Politicians talking one for the team

Won’t end until there’s a Vaccine!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

Expressing solidarity

with Ruby, Jenny and AP

Twelve hour shift, but only lasted three!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

I want to remember the Holy Child!

It’s a hard, but worthy, task

Manchester and London reconciled!

A bypass full of dense fog

Thinking of an infected Sprog!

Punk by nature, but playing Prog!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

They said that my leader is a whore

While sorting out the de-gown chore!

Left me breathless, contact Jim Corr!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

I’m not riding a peleton bike!

Coffee in a Tim Horton’s flask

Turning me into David Icke!

Couldn’t fit the suit, due to my groin!

Too fond of a sirloin

And a perfect pass by De Bruyne!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

No more open pubs

To hear the bitching about the Dubs!

Davy Crockett, but without Tubbs!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

It’s a cartoon from the eighties!

Too much wealth Monegasque

Sent over to fix Haïti!

A lifetime with Autism!

The Reformation and the Great Schism!

The world’s now just one huge prison!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

Looking for work? They don’t care!

We all now have to do our own hair

‘Cause the Kingmakers are all on Welfare!

I don’t want to wear a mask!

Stimming on a Zoom Meeting

I was hosting a Zoom meeting this afternoon; and two women PMd me to turn off my camera function, due to them seeing me stim on screen. One of them thought I was eating an earthworm. 🙂 (I was using an elastic band)

No quiz for me tonight; an early one, as I only had five hours sleep last night. I am still borrowing my friend’s laptop; he’s my support bubble. Also, I feel exhausted after so long online. I was on Skype almost two hours just because a female friend wanted to put on her lashes while we’re on Skype. (Bless)

I won a Games Night last night on Zoom; run by WAVE in Belfast. My team had a stroke of good luck on the first game. Then I knew the title of a Seventies song; after a muffled rendition of it. (‘Daydream Believer’ by the Monkees)

There may be a mouse breaking the curfew. 🙂 My brother and I helped set the trap; to catch him.

Remember Parkinson’s Law – “Work expands to meet the deadline.”

Training Day

“For a Play to become successful, there has to be bad luck beforehand!” (Orson Welles)

Today, I went through the training session in the assecioning role at the Covid lab in Randox. The work itself seems simple enough. However, life in the major obstacle.

  1. I arrived three hours early due to my anxiety levels being through the roof.
  2. I found it well-nigh impossible to pay attention to the class. The demonstration and practice runs were Godsends.
  3. I was lost at the main car park; trying to find my car – parked elsewhere. Had it not been for my walking-stick, I would have fallen and broken my spine. (insurance mightn’t have covered me) It’s probably part of my autism; digging ones toes in when walking due to sensitive feet.
  4. The roads are frosty, and my local roads wouldn’t be gritted. I’m learning new driving skills as I go along, but the longer I drive the more nervous I become. (I can’t afford to make a claim)

Living in the moment can be a thankless task for myself. But I have an understanding group of people on my side.

Growth Comfort

I heard an expression on a Zoom conference on Tuesday, which resonated with me. “Comfort doesn’t exist in the growth zone! Growth doesn’t exist in the comfort zone!”

My Slimming World online subscription expired today. Then I went to a class – weigh-in only – to check the aftermath of Lockdown eating. I gained SIXTEEN pounds. From being 20 Stone 0.5 Pounds, I’m now 21 Stone 2.5 Pounds. However, I needed that kick up the Arse. Even though the drive to-and-from Brackaville was a nightmare.

Next week, I have a job interview in Belfast. I can ask the interviewers if there is a possibility of transferring to a more regional location if I do a good enough job there. It’s for Shopmobility. God willing, Lockdown in Northern Ireland will end tomorrow. The Executive decide tonight. A haircut and shave next Tuesday afternoon depends on it.

Sensory overloads are taking place quite regularly now. However, music is my best therapy. Plus, I’m on a Discord group for Adults with Autism.

Black Friday tomorrow. My brother and I have to run an errand together in Cookstown. Hopefully, my sleep will be good.

One piece of good news, I found my parcel box. I left it at the shop where the Post Office was. Everything’s fine now.

I feel better; after a day of panic.

Tunes:

Going crazy

I feel that yesterday was a pivotal moment in my life. On Tuesday night, I had ZERO sleep. Then I only had a forty-minute nap. Then I went berserk; after heading to a friend’s place to borrow his laptop (my MacBook Pro has a damaged charger, and I can’t afford a replacement, yet) and I was about to go on a rampage.

My complementary therapist recommended Magnesium supplements for my sleep. I got that. Also, I went to a chemist and got elderberry tablets. For £14.99! (WTF?)

I am putting in so much effort for so little return. How much longer must this continue?

Tunes:

Hobson’s Choice

This afternoon, I had a Doctor’s appointment about Tinnitus – which has been ongoing my whole life, but I’m only addressing now. My left ear is so waxy, I was prescribed drops. If there’s no improvement after a week – I require syringing to dewax my ears.

The Doctor wasn’t made aware of my exemption from wearing masks – as I have Asperger’s – as I discovered- by a Mate who was a Nurse and is now a Lecturer in Nursing at Queen’s University – that Doctors don’t have access to one’s Medical Records. He didn’t react too well to the Government exemption rules; perhaps because there’s a breakdown in communication between the Executive in Northern Ireland and Whitehall. Sounds like something from ‘Yes, Prime Minister.’ 😐

On a more positive note, my massages are available again through WAVE Trauma Centre. Also, I called USEL – as a cry for help trying to find work again. They may be able to get me back on STRIDE; but there’s no guarantee. I’ll find out for sure on Wednesday.

I had to pay the 2019/20 tax by bank transfer this evening. Tough times! But I live in hope. Even though the justify option doesn’t work on the New WordPress template.

Tunes:

Standing my Ground

Yesterday, I ran errands in Cookstown and Magherafelt – I got masks and gloves in Cookstown; as well as A4-sized picture frames, and a downloadable photograph from a Chemist in Magherafelt to renew my driving licence online. Once I did apply online, I felt much better.

Then, in the evening, I attended a Zoom group for my Slimming World instructor- then was awarded my first ever ‘Slimmer of the Week’ award. When all and sundry were pigging out, I kept myself occupied with the internet, conversation and tea/coffee.

But, there is a delay in my mail arriving. There are a few things I’m waiting for which are in limbo. But, they’ll arrive in God’s time.

Holy Thursday today, whenever The Lord celebrated the Passover. I have the Lamb’s blood in my life. 🙂

Tunes: