Dissociating

I have disassociated throughout this evening. After thinking of the case, in Ardoyne, where a Mentally-Ill mum stabbed her baby boy to death – her two-year-old daughter is in Intensive Care – and hearing that the Covid spike in Belfast cancelled the Cancer Ward, I felt numb and helpless. Not to mention trying to get a more expensive Giffgaff Goodybag; to get more value for Data.

The NHS site for Dissociative Disorder mentioned Eating Disorders, PTSD and Additional Stress. I may vouch for all three, off the bat. From my own experience, I depended on a Food Bank on Monday; since then, compulsively having bowls of Coco Pops.

Dystopian Tunes:

Using initiative

The Bank’s solicitors – Swine – sought Death Certificates for a brother and sister of my granddad; who were mentioned on the maps for the sale of my home and land. However, I made the initiative by contacting a relative – who keeps in contact with my connections on granddad’s side of the family – and also applying for a death notice online – with a £7.50 PayPal payment – for the sister. Once I obtained the Word Document, I password-protected the file (GDPR) and emailed it to my solicitor’s secretary. God-willing, there’ll be no more bureaucratic hurdles to jump.

The purchase of the bungalow I sought has been agreed, subject to survey, thanks to a £2,000 cheque from my uncle; which I promise to pay back. It was for a holding deposit. It’s looking up.

For now, I have to live hand-to-mouth; until my next PIP payment. I depended on a Food Bank on Tuesday, and would have to rely on another one next Wednesday. However, I’m grateful for the option.

Moving is the most stressful moment in life; after bereavement. I can now vouch for that. Sorting out the wreckage of my family’s financial past is long and arduous. But I am learning so much about myself, as I go along.

I thought, as a kid, I would have the dream life. My Adult life was a Nightmare, by comparison, but it has forged me.

Foodbank

A life above the threshold – based on land rather than savings – has got to the stage where I require the food bank. It happened to me before, five years ago, but this time it’s in the isolation of the countryside; with my car requiring a new clutch. Without a job, I’m banjaxed.

I feel a bit let down by others. However, that’s how the chips fall. Whenever the rest of the world called Red, I called Black.

Now that I know who helped me, I can streamline my contacts.

Friday the Thirteenth approaching!

Tomorrow will be Friday the Thirteenth! It will also be the tenth birthday of my cousin’s daughter in Dubai. This Christmas has been pretty busy. However, it keeps my mind occupied. My job, at this moment, is to tie up all the remaining loose ends at home.

A friend of mine from Pomeroy starts a new job today. Good luck to her. Nothing beats experience.

I must remind myself, however, that there are so many dependent on Food Banks this Christmas. Britain has more Food Banks now than branches of McDonald’s. Chilling!

Tunes: