Christmas on my Own-io

I’ll be on my own this Christmas. However, I’m content with that. Though, I may visit my friend from the art class and have a good chat. But isolation is a major issue for me. Solitude is more than a Soccer Ground in North Belfast. 🙂

My job ended on Thursday – 20 December – and, in a surreal manner, I’m mourning the loss of that job more than I mourned the loss of my gran. Though it doesn’t compare to whenever I lost my mum. I did such a stellar effort in the job I feel that whenever I’m onto a winner, some spanner is placed in the works. Such is life.

Tomorrow, I head to Dublin as the Pavilion Theatre in Dun Laoghaire is screening the original Home Alone Movie. I have NEVER seen it prior, not even on TV. This is inner child work for me. 🙂

I have come to accept modern Christmases. The family separation, the crass consumerism, the sudden dip in form for Arsenal. 😉 It’s as if life on life terms makes us more philosophical.

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Been a while since I posted

Gran is now at home and we have arranged an agreement which works out both better and cheaper than taking her to a care home. 🙂 I have to hold fort from 6 pm to 10 pm every evening, except Wednesday, including weekends. A few evenings I’ve been stressed out, but now I run my domestic errands during the afternoon to prevent burn out.

 

My voluntary job is going well, they’re mighty impressed at my work rate and how quickly I’ve been up to speed. Today I applied for a local Admin/Receptionist role, but feel that the issue around our Housing Benefit agreement at my place has caught me between a rock and a hard place. The Government here are pure catchpennies.

 

I try to make my presence known to the world and feel I’ve learned so much from it. More often than not, whenever I go for a walk I pick up the litter on the pavements and put them in my own bin bag. It’s an example of vigilante action reducing dependency on the state. I feel that the slothful are cannon fodder. They may complain about the state banning smoking in public buildings or public drinking of alcohol, but when the chips are down they expect someone else to sort out their rubbish; usually the state.

 

Back to School tomorrow for a lot of kids. My cousin’s eldest son’s first day in Primary School is tomorrow. Lord only knows what he’s letting himself into. Most kids here are raised in bars and learn all the smut of the day; even a song on 4Music today at 2 pm at the Kurdish Barber I attended today was called ‘Sex’ and had a Sex Ed Teacher enticing teenage boys; if it had been a man my age enticing teenage girls there would be a public outcry.

 

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Another day of exhaustion

Today (Sunday) I went for a wee spin and ended up heading back to Magherafelt and buying lavender oil at Holland and Barrett. There was a Free Presbyterian Preacher there outside. Ultimately, as a Non-Denominational Christian, I believe that Churches spend too long trying to ‘win back’ the non-believers (fruitless exercise) rather than focus on those who DO believe. (Pope Francis is a prime example of this)

 

This evening I dosed off until an hour and a half ago. Perhaps God wants me to check out Game 2 of the NBA finals during the Witching Hours. 🙂 Hopefully the Warriors can get the better of Lebron and co again. 🙂

 

I have also written a letter to BBC Northern Ireland in the hope that one day I will feature on ‘Nolan Live’ describing how difficult it is for young men in my area to find meaningful work after graduation; in this country those young men with degrees struggle to find work whilst those who left school at 16 learned trades and are making a mint.

Saturday was all about the fortieth anniversary of the infamous Punk gig in Manchester which revolutionised Music at the time.

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One of those Sundays

Last night I only got 3 1/2 hours sleep and ended up hearing gran say, “I’m in jail!” from her hospital bed and then watching a damp squib of a Championship Match; Derry V Tyrone. Having a foot in both camps, I was in two minds. 🙂

 

I have a sore throat, Lemsip is only a temporary relief. Possibly it’s time to gargle with salt water, supposed to do just as well.

 

But one good things was that I saw the game with an old friend at her house and she gave me lasagne. Strictly platonic, of course. 🙂

 

But at least I showered and dressed today, I’m not a complete washout. 🙂

 

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Gran in hospital again

Yesterday my gran, who’s now 91, fell and hit her head and is now at Craigavon Area Hospital. Today I saw her, after deciding just to drive to Antrim then take the train to Portadown and get a taxi to the hospital, and she is really beginning to dote. She thought she was still at home and was on about her handbag and staff. The nurses said gran’s Niece will bring them over. In the end I decided to head back and, luckily, I was got the Dublin to Belfast train at Portadown and got the 7:20 train to Derry at Belfast Central, getting off at Antrim.

Big weekend ahead. FA Cup final tomorrow then Derry V Tyrone in the Ulster Championship on Sunday. I hope that this will take my mind off the woes about gran and my financial issues.

My Asperger’s tendency to stare placed me in an awkward moment on the trains, I tend to get worked up over others’ views of me. But, God willing, I managed to avoid making an Arse of myself in public. 🙂

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Back to work schemes

I am involved in a back to work scheme and feel that I’m running into several culs-de-sac concerning opportunities. Of course, the scheme is funded by the EU. Because of all of this I feel short changed.

 

Still dealing with Gran and she is still in and around the kitchen sink, at 91 years of age, and she said she ‘felt cold’ even though I was sweltering. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ll just have to limit the amount of time I can be with her. Not that I don’t love her, but I need to attend to my needs as well.

Exhausted. Couldn’t be Arsed to watch the Europa Cup final on YouTube.But Liverpool are ahead at Half Time; BBC ticker. I’d love to bottle what Liverpool have in Europe.

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Sunshine :)

Now it’s sunny outside. Went for a walk earlier today, prior to the weather warming up, got my stuff done for today. 🙂

 

Thinking of what it was like when I was in School and about how unwilling I was to go out and play when I got home; Asperger trait to watch TV all day. Perhaps it proved to be my undoing, but now I can look back and say I wasn’t ready to face the world back then.

 

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