Having to give up driving

On Sunday afternoon, I was returning home from a Gaelic Football game whenever I suffered a meltdown, and only God’s grace prevented an accident. Then, yesterday – Tuesday, I was getting a taxi home from a bus from Belfast whenever I had a case of PTSD and grabbed the driver’s steering wheel impulsively. His response was, “Don’t do that, again! If you’re that nervous with my driving, you shouldn’t be driving, yourself!”

That was when it suddenly clicked. I CANNOT maintain a car with the income I currently have. I plan to sell my car by placing it at the car park of a local gift shop with a ‘For Sale’ sign that I ordered from Amazon. Hopefully, someone will buy it. The Car Salesman I contacted, who’s related to me, said the mileage is too high for him to trade the car.

However, I know that this is the last house on the street for me. Just like my own home. 😐

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Expenses

Yesterday, my car was serviced for £100. Not bad. But, whenever you have very little income coming in, and one is eating into savings, that’s still sore. I feel that I could never get any financial luck.

Also, the ‘r’ key on my MacBook Pro is broken. The guy who fixed it reckoned it was due to dust. But I feel that cleaning my keyboard made the situation worse. I am feeling despondent again.

This evening, I went to another Slimming World class, and I lost another half-pound. But I feel that I want it off NOW! However, I just have to keep doing what I am doing and the miracles will happen.

Exhaustion is an issue fo me. Yesterday, I went on a few bus rides en route to Belfast. While I got home safely enough, I had so much to do at home, I wore myself to the ground. Now I know how difficult it is to be a Single Guy in this world.

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Being considered for Condition Management Programme

Condition Management Programme – Northern Ireland

 

I had to turn down THREE offers for an interview to prepare for this scheme, for twelve weeks, as my employment advisor said that I am not currently work-ready. However, I have other plans for my life. After heading across various places on Meetups and other trips, I guess I have to slow down. Not just for my health but also as I can no longer sustain my current lifestyle.

My only concern is the issue surrounding my benefits. I am only entitled to PIP – as it isn’t means tested – and this scheme used to be subject to means-tested benefits. God willing, they will have removed that precondition.

Also, I have plans for getting a cake for my brother’s thirtieth birthday. Watch this space.

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Taking a Rest for Jobseeking

I was advised last Wednesday – February 20 – by my Employment Advisor to take a break from looking for work. At the end of the day, she was vindicated. For so long, I had run myself to the ground looking for work left, right and centre. But the last interview I had – February 18 – didn’t materialise in an offer. Plus, it was work for a company whose work makes me feel uncomfortable.

I plan to resume painting. Watch this space. Also, I am undergoing counselling. Getting used to self-care.

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Good news and bad news

Bad news: (Bad news ALWAYS comes first)

I had to resign from the job in Portadown I got over a bureaucratic rigmarole regarding Occupational Health at the agency involved declining a fit for work certificate required. After contacting the agency and health professionals, it was too much stress and strain in the end. Therefore I resigned and the agency will keep searching for other roles that don’t require that fit for work certificate.

Good news:

I was paid for the two days I did work last week. 🙂

 

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Didn’t get the job

I didn’t get the job with Deloitte. However, I am grateful that I have Specialisterne NI on my side. Later on today, I’m heading to a job club with them.

Last Friday night, I went to a Country Music Gig at Aughabrack. Turned out, that I had to wait so long for the act to appear I was exhausted and had to head back bang on Midnight. I was talking to a woman from Strabane at the event, but she is probably in a relationship; I think I saw an engagement ring on her. Just my luck. 😐

Country Music Gigs in Ireland are a parallel universe. There was a group of ones, probably in their early twenties, who brought a bottle of Buckfast with them – probably Townies from Strabane. The place was electric. There was even a Hen Party from ones from Claudy direction. Suffice to say, they weren’t lookers. :p

I also, now, have my photos on my portfolio site organised at https://desmonddevlin.myportfolio.com/photos  Didn’t take any photos of those jiving, didn’t have enough space to do so, the place was bunged up in the end.

Also, on Sunday, I went to Dublin for a ‘Coffee Crawl’ Meetup. Someone I knew was on the bus with me at Dungannon. Then I got the DART to Dalkey from Connolly and got directions to the place from a South African Lady who lives there; judging by her accent. It was good to do something more sedate after the madness of the Country Music gig.

Oh, and I got PIP awarded in the end. Not much, but at least it’s something. 🙂

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Doing it myself

I have realised that I need to stop procrastinating so much on the ironing. Asking others to help me with it is also a fruitless exercise, sometimes I can get mad at working mothers. But, ultimately, I need to learn how to stand on my own two feet. Especially as my DLA has now been taken from me. The mandatory reconsideration has taken place. However, I won’t receive supplementary payments due to having no points in my initial review. Such is life.

Last Wednesday’s Interview turned me into a bag of nerves. I himmedand hammed throughout. But a Specialisterne representative was with me. If I don’t receive an offer, I will request feedback. In the meantime I’ve applied for a job closer to home. Plenty of Admin roles for construction firms; with the building of the new bypass outside Toome.

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