An Tour Mór (Sonnet I wrote about driving across the Sperrins today)

He who rides a tiger is scared to dismount!

Not like the fear I had driving to Aughabrack via Feeny

trundling up the hills on the road from Moneymeaney

until I approached the crossroads dissecting the Park to Dungiven road!

Heading to Aughabrack I noticed ‘Road Ahead Closed’ signs

the road towards Plumbridge was closed!

Mrs. Kerlin said it’s due to a stretch of road being widened!

Blade heading towards Plumbridge showed me a detour

where I nearly drove into a hole on the right-hand road edge!

But I got over safe thanks to that Angel sent from Heaven!

Drove back home via Greencastle

nearly missing a sharp turn and almost into a side road

as well as nearly witnessing a collision at Kildress!

Holy Jesus! Thon’s some journey!”

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When you’re middle class (poem)

When you’re middle class no one will fight for ya!

The wealthy enslave you

while the Pikeys talk shite to ya!

 

You feel emasculated

just like a bullock

just because you idolised Bono

instead of Ian McCulloch!

 

You find salvation in Arts Festivals

which make you feel important

with a sixty-something Post-Punk veteran

who grew up in Gorton!

 

He swears the blue streak away

like he’s from the Land of the free!

That’s what happens when you have a Jewish MP!

 

The middle class drown sorrows with Carling

instead of wife-beating Stella

because our jobs are under threat because of the Rockerfellers!

 

Too well off for ESA

but can’t afford trade missions to China!

Overqualified and underappreciated

and the mountains are for Gold miners!

 

The family silver and gold is now owned by Canada

while we can no longer have a Tim Horton’s!

Yours sincerely Tony, Teresa, David and Gordon!

 

Apple store customer from Dublin sings ‘Only our rivers run free!’

Yet I’d rather it be him than me!

Corruption in our country is just as bad as yours!

The middle class shifted behind closed doors!