Adulthood in and out of Mental Health has got me to the stage where I need to surrender. My rationale is lowered by my irregular sleep patterns. Lockdown has thrown so much emotion at me, it’s hard to see if things will return to normal.
My life was ruined because I had the MMR jab as a baby. I don’t want the Vaccines shoved down parents’ throats. However, I do know that God will heal the land of those who repent of their sins. It’s an arduous process. But, hey – no pain, no gain.
On Saturday, I was meant to begin a weekend job making PPE masks. However, during the induction, I developed diarrhoea and had to leave before I even started. Then I did a Covid test on Saturday afternoon – after developing symptoms – at Craigavon MOT Centre. Thank God, it was negative. 🙂 However, I need to slow down.
The feeling of disappointment left me suicidal on Saturday. Yesterday – Sunday – I was a mess. However, I feel better this morning. Fizzy Vitamin C tablets are Godsends. (I found out, from a friend, that the pills I contemplated taking wouldn’t have killed me)
Thank God that I can get a haircut this afternoon. Haircuts and shaves always make me feel better. My brother returned home Sunday before last from Derry – he got a 2:1 in Software Development at Magee – and using his beard trimmer was the answer to my prayers. I got one, just like his, on Amazon. But, since he returned home, I have slacked off on the housework a bit.
The most important thing is that I’m above ground, and I still have a chance. I also gave up my walking challenge as my health deteriorated since I began. It’s too warm for a coat, but too wet for a t-shirt. Welcome to Ireland! 😐
Mr Devlin goes to Stormont. (On Canada Day – Somme Day too)
I had to turn down THREE offers for an interview to prepare for this scheme, for twelve weeks, as my employment advisor said that I am not currently work-ready. However, I have other plans for my life. After heading across various places on Meetups and other trips, I guess I have to slow down. Not just for my health but also as I can no longer sustain my current lifestyle.
My only concern is the issue surrounding my benefits. I am only entitled to PIP – as it isn’t means tested – and this scheme used to be subject to means-tested benefits. God willing, they will have removed that precondition.
Also, I have plans for getting a cake for my brother’s thirtieth birthday. Watch this space.
I was advised last Wednesday – February 20 – by my Employment Advisor to take a break from looking for work. At the end of the day, she was vindicated. For so long, I had run myself to the ground looking for work left, right and centre. But the last interview I had – February 18 – didn’t materialise in an offer. Plus, it was work for a company whose work makes me feel uncomfortable.
I plan to resume painting. Watch this space. Also, I am undergoing counselling. Getting used to self-care.
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