Letting Go of the Outcomes

Posted on by gizzajob

I feel that letting go of the need to search for jobs left, right and centre has paid off; in the end.

I got a new car last Wednesday. And, this Friday, my brother and I will be signing a probate oath; at least I assume it will be the resolution of the Probtae following gran’s death. Then, more money will arrive.

The family home and land are sold. But I have about four or five months before I have to move. Less stress. 🙂

Also, the PIP re-application arrived at the Office on Monday morning. The form was filled last Thursday. It will take a week to register on the system. But they extended the deadline to ease the backlog of cases and applications.

Feeling better. My sensory overloads over the past few weeks drove me insane. Now, I’m having more me time.

Tunes:

Training Day

Posted on by gizzajob

“For a Play to become successful, there has to be bad luck beforehand!” (Orson Welles)

Today, I went through the training session in the assecioning role at the Covid lab in Randox. The work itself seems simple enough. However, life in the major obstacle.

  1. I arrived three hours early due to my anxiety levels being through the roof.
  2. I found it well-nigh impossible to pay attention to the class. The demonstration and practice runs were Godsends.
  3. I was lost at the main car park; trying to find my car – parked elsewhere. Had it not been for my walking-stick, I would have fallen and broken my spine. (insurance mightn’t have covered me) It’s probably part of my autism; digging ones toes in when walking due to sensitive feet.
  4. The roads are frosty, and my local roads wouldn’t be gritted. I’m learning new driving skills as I go along, but the longer I drive the more nervous I become. (I can’t afford to make a claim)

Living in the moment can be a thankless task for myself. But I have an understanding group of people on my side.

Growth Comfort

Posted on by gizzajob

I heard an expression on a Zoom conference on Tuesday, which resonated with me. “Comfort doesn’t exist in the growth zone! Growth doesn’t exist in the comfort zone!”

My Slimming World online subscription expired today. Then I went to a class – weigh-in only – to check the aftermath of Lockdown eating. I gained SIXTEEN pounds. From being 20 Stone 0.5 Pounds, I’m now 21 Stone 2.5 Pounds. However, I needed that kick up the Arse. Even though the drive to-and-from Brackaville was a nightmare.

Next week, I have a job interview in Belfast. I can ask the interviewers if there is a possibility of transferring to a more regional location if I do a good enough job there. It’s for Shopmobility. God willing, Lockdown in Northern Ireland will end tomorrow. The Executive decide tonight. A haircut and shave next Tuesday afternoon depends on it.

Sensory overloads are taking place quite regularly now. However, music is my best therapy. Plus, I’m on a Discord group for Adults with Autism.

Black Friday tomorrow. My brother and I have to run an errand together in Cookstown. Hopefully, my sleep will be good.

One piece of good news, I found my parcel box. I left it at the shop where the Post Office was. Everything’s fine now.

I feel better; after a day of panic.

Tunes:

Having to give up driving

Posted on by gizzajob

On Sunday afternoon, I was returning home from a Gaelic Football game whenever I suffered a meltdown, and only God’s grace prevented an accident. Then, yesterday – Tuesday, I was getting a taxi home from a bus from Belfast whenever I had a case of PTSD and grabbed the driver’s steering wheel impulsively. His response was, “Don’t do that, again! If you’re that nervous with my driving, you shouldn’t be driving, yourself!”

That was when it suddenly clicked. I CANNOT maintain a car with the income I currently have. I plan to sell my car by placing it at the car park of a local gift shop with a ‘For Sale’ sign that I ordered from Amazon. Hopefully, someone will buy it. The Car Salesman I contacted, who’s related to me, said the mileage is too high for him to trade the car.

However, I know that this is the last house on the street for me. Just like my own home. 😐

Tunes:

 

It’s a Dog’s Life

Posted on by gizzajob

I was just after mowing my lawn. The sweat is running off me, now. Plus, it’s more of a sense of duty rather than enthusiasm. Yesterday, I attended a gardening class. However, I can no longer attend that class because I was sexually drawn to a young volunteer who began yesterday. Plus, the Pilates didn’t work out as I couldn’t juxtapose the breathing and the motion.

I saw ‘Rocketman’ last Sunday afternoon in Belfast. Good film. Although the Gay Sex scenes made me feel uncomfortable. However, I was glad I went.

Now, I have just three weeks left of my Condition Management Programme. I am weighing my options afterwards. My preferred choice is Mencap as they have a centre in Magherafelt, they do an Employability scheme, and I bumped into a Mencap employee by pure chance back in February during a night out in Belfast. It’s funny how the Lord conspires to assist. 😉

Tunes:

 

Losing Weight

Posted on by gizzajob

Three weeks ago, I was hospitalised after sensory overload. I have been on the hamster wheel quite a while, recently. However, what emerged from that is an awareness of my limitations. For the four Wednesday evenings of June, I will be attending Pilates classes in Holywood (North Down, in case you might be searching for me on IMDb) and hope to join the local sessions in Coagh once it resumes in September.

Also, a fortnight ago, my car got through the MOT. Having heard about the daughter of my ex-Landlady from Dublin spending over €1,000 on repairs for the Southern equivalent and still not getting the car passed, I can be thankful that I have good people in my local community who won’t rip me off. But, yesterday, the service light was on, and the car needs to be seen to, again, on Monday.

Last Sunday, I went to the Continental Market in Cookstown. Really glad to have gone. I had a Brautwrst hotdog there from the German stall and Grilled Chicken with Sweet-Potato Fries fries from the Spanish booth. My three weeks of Slimming World have gone well. Three-quarters of a stone – aka ten and a half pounds – lost, already. 🙂

Tonight, I’ll be seeing Superstars Café’s team do a stage production of ‘The Lion King’. Hopefully, on Tuesday evening – if the car will be fine – I will see the Elton John film in Cookstown Cinema. Things are better now. 🙂

 

Tunes:

 

More driving issues related to my Asperger’s

Posted on by gizzajob

Yesterday I had to leave a mass card over to a remote part of our rival village when I found out that that man’s brother died on Thursday. Turns out I was directed to the home of the brother.

Then I went through a personal Hell negotiating the small, twisty roads at night before heading to a neighbour’s house to send a mass card for his sister in Belfast that died. Then I went to attend a month’s mind for the deceased mum of a personal friend. I then went to his brother’s house for reception, only to make a pig’s ear of parking. But I managed to get back okay and get another mass card for the wake that was on in Moortown and then I called Lifeline Helpline as I felt like I wanted a tons of bricks to hit me.

Mundane tasks, such as manoeuvring, are forced exercises for me. Pressure to perform and all that.