I have realised that we must all suffer at first to live a fulfilling life in the end. Diamonds are simply million year-old trees. It seems that artists in particular – be it painters, writers or creative types in general – have a pretty tempestuous life. But we come out stronger.
Yesterday I drove to Plumbridge as a trial run drive in preparation for a job I applied for to see if I would go for at least an interview. But I was going through a road past the Sperrins I had never been on before and was so consumed by fear; driving new places these past few years has been a forced exercise for me. But in the end, when heading back, I realised that driving on a road I wasn’t comfortable with for a part time job wouldn’t be worth it. The juice just isn’t worth the squeeze.
However, today, I went to the place in Magherafelt I used to live at and went gardening this morning and early afternoon. It was good to muck about with my old posse. I even heard from the gardening expert there that the soil contains serotonin. No wonder I felt better. 🙂
Now this evening I’m not attending the art class. I need to slow down the pace a bit. My uncle had a suspected heart attack and is in the Royal Hospital in Belfast. My health is my wealth, for now.
Today I had to phone a Doctor’s Practice in Plumbridge, County Tyrone – other side of the Sperrins, and I wanted to spell my address using the phonetic alphabet to act as an icebreaker in case the receptionist didn’t get my accent. However, she asked me to keep repeating it. That triggered my anxiety and I was getting restless; bearing in mind that first impressions count. In the end they said they will post the form on Monday. (probably second class) But I feel that I made a boo-boo of it.
After paying the landline bill, basically line rental plus VAT, and the cost of getting my car through the MOT I felt a huge sense of ‘poor me’ syndrome. I also have to spend a small fortune on the MacBook repair from the Apple Store at Victoria Square following the damage I caused to the keys with my lightning-fast typing. (note to self to do Admin stuff on Ubuntu and use the MacBook Pro for graphic design only) I feel that, as a bloke applying for jobs associated with women, no one is there to answer my cause.
Today I wrote three letters; one to my ex-Careers Teacher, one to God and a final one to me as if God’s writing back. The message I get from this is to promote my blog in the local papers. From little acorns do mighty oaks grow. 🙂